


Moose Squared

by caffeinatednightowl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-06
Updated: 2013-04-06
Packaged: 2017-12-07 14:46:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/749715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caffeinatednightowl/pseuds/caffeinatednightowl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt fill for Moose/Actual Moose. Delicious crack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moose Squared

“Dean, what the Hell,” asked Sam as he held up the bottle in his hand. “I asked you to go grab me some replacement shampoo and conditioner.”

“It  _is_  shampoo,” Dean grinned. Sam responded by pulling out  the bitchface—the shampoo was pink and was called  _Luscious Strawberry Smoothie_. “Look man, you’re the one who left your duffel in Iowa. You weren’t specific.”

Sam rolled his eyes, and searched the plastic bag for the corrosponding conditoner…there wasn’t any. “Oh, so you buy me chick shampoo, and don’t bother to buy chick conditioner?”

“Why, you actually thinking about using it,  _Samantha?_ ” cackled Dean. 

“Fuck no,” Sam growled, tossing the shampoo aside. He could get through without a shower until tomorrow when he bought himself some better stuff.

————-

He couldn’t get through without a shower. 

So there he was, smelling like, as Dean put it, “A cheerleader’s locker room.” They were scouting out the site of a possible wendigo mauling, and Dean offered to talk to the park ranger because “Dude, I know that smell and the fact that you smell it makes me very uncomfortable.” Sam made a mental note to hide all of Dean’s boxers in the kitchenette freezer later. 

Whatever had pulled apart the campers had done a heck of a job of it. Sam waded through ripped up tents and sacks to see if there were any footprints—there were. Leading to the forest. 

Sam followed them, hunched over and his sneakers squishing on leaves as he walked deeper into the forest. Dean would be annoyed at him for going off on his own, but he had his flare gun and regular gun at the ready, just in case.

That was when he heard the low groan.

Sam looked up, and instantly gasped and stumbled back into a tree. A moose. A real, fucking, huge, giant  _moose_. Just standing there right in front of him, all large and intimidating  Sam was frozen; he knew how to avoid bear attacks, but his brain blanked upon trying to figure out how to get away from a moose without being run down. 

The moose took a step forward; its nose just above the top of Sam’s head. Sam shuddered as the moose leaned in and…

Sniffed.

Slowly looking up, Sam noticed the moose kept on sniffing his hair; he could feel the animal’s hot breath on his forehead.  _Fucking shampoo._

Slowly, Sam took a step backwards. Okay, easy does it…

The moose followed.

Trying not to panic, Sam took another step back. The moose followed again. 

_Oh Crap._

—————-

“So, no one saw anything?” repeated Dean to the park ranger. “All right, but we’ll need to take a look around—” he turned, expecting to see Sam examining the site. “Sam?” No one was there. “Sammy?”

That was when he saw something, a tall shape—his brother, running for dear life out of the woods. Something even  _larger_ was chasing after him. 

“ _DEAN, HELP!”_


End file.
